Fearless.

I grew up in a messed up family with parents who were too busy working and cheating on each other to take care of their own daughter. I was twelve when I caught my father cheating on my mother for the first time only to catch my mother on the couch with a man who wasn't my father a week later and while they both knew I caught them none of them had enough courage to talk about it.

And of course over the years both my father and mother had many more affairs that I lost count but what is ironic to me is that even though each of them was aware of the other's infidelity, they never ended things for reasons still unknown to me till this day.

And as a result of growing up in this environment, love was doomed to me. I spent so long convincing myself that there was no point in love because it's stupid and everyone cheats anyway but deep down I always knew that I was just scared of being like my parents since the apple doesn't fall far from the tree and all that. So, I promised myself to never love someone or even date anyone and to live for myself and myself only.

And so, I moved out when I turned eighteen more specifically on my eighteenth birthday, I packed my stuff and left with nothing but a note to my parents. And during the six following years, I graduated college, finished my English literature degree, found a nice job at a publishing house, had my own apartment and was saving up for a car that I didn't need seeing as I lived in the middle of the city.

I had everything that I wanted and was for the first time since I was twelve kind of content when I met him, his name was Josh Dean. He had asked if he could sit on the empty chair on my table and seeing as there were no other empty chairs in the busy cafe, I let him sit and yes I almost regretted it when he started making conversation but the key word is almost as I soon came to like his company because he was nice, funny and definitely charming. And for the next two months, we met everyday for lunch in the same cafe on the same table. I had thought we were friends but obviously Josh thought otherwise because he asked me out and for some unknown reason I didn't reject him like I did to all these guys before him. And we dated for a few months but it wasn't before he asked me to meet his mom, that I woke up and remembered the promise I made myself, I had ended things with him and told him to never talk to me again but of course he didn't listen. Josh was very persistent and stubborn that he didn't leave me alone before I told him all about my parents and why I didn't usually date only so he could wrap is arms around me and promise me that we will never be my parents and for some odd reason I believed him. I was still so hesitant that I rejected his marriage proposal twice before finally saying yes.

But of course I had to ruin everything and tell him that I didn't want to get married anymore just a week before the wedding. And this time Josh wasn't as patient, he had yelled that he was done with me and my irrational fear before leaving our house with his bags. And while I didn't want him to leave I didn't stop him.

I had waited for him to come back but he didn't and it was then that I realized that I actually lost him, I had pushed him too far that he just left or at least that's what I thought because he came back on the day that was supposed to be our wedding day and told me that he didn't care and that he was willing to wait for as long as it took for me to be ready if it meant having me as his wife in the end. So, I just kissed him and married him that same day only so we could welcome Ruby our first daughter exactly nine months later.

It was on that day when he came back to me even though he had every right not to, that I realized that he was the one for me and that if I spent the rest of my life looking for someone to love me as much as he did, I would never be able to find anyone but him and so, I let go of my fear because I'm not my mother and Josh is definitely not my father and became fearless.




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Also, I do not own the rights to pictures used, I just found them on google.